Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize