You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
