Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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