i think i have two assholes
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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