new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
