I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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