just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
