sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
