hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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