He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
