Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize