...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
