This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
