She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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