I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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