i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
