I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
