I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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