white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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