he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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