i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
