You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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