do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
