i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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