she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
