I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
