I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Randomize