I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
