So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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