you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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