I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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