Buhtt sex?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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