JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
