I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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