she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
