Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
