they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
