I think my fart just growled at me.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
