just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
