I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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