do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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