oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
