there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
