He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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