i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
