escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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