Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
