Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
