Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You're like the curious george of whores
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize
