The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
me + whiskey = a bad person
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
