I'm so fucking centered right now
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
