Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize