Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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