it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
