Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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