Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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