Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
