dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The police scanner is talking about you again....
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
A+ Viking dick
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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