I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she peed on how many people?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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