I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The air was thick with penises
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
