sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize