So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
